8 things that warrant a good old rant….

A number of things have irked me recently and I felt the need to put them into the digital ether for an airing! There is no real reason for 8, it just happened I ran out at that point or perhaps just got distracted by another irkable offence. As usual all comments are welcome, along with any rants that you are harbouring/would like to bring my attention to…

Irish weather

©Martin Parr

8 things that warrant a good old rant

1) The weather – Irish people are obsessed with the weather. It’s our favourite topic and often the first things addressed in a conversation. For small talk it is the perfect lubricant of ‘nice day out there’ if it just happens to not be raining or ‘Jesus it’s freezing’, which is the current favourite. Well I don’t want to talk about it anymore. It’s dark, cold, wet and the wind has picked up as if the Greek God Aeolus has realised that this small island does exist.

2) Buses – I seem to be either on one or waiting for one (due to cycling being unpleasant and dangerous due to the actions of point 1). Bus drivers are agitated over the new fares; feet are sprawled across seats and when they are moved leave a muddy or wet trace where you are expected to then sit on; people are smoking weed at the back so you end up stinking of it at work; real-time displays are conspiring so that the bus you think is coming is not, and the one you needed is missed as it wasn’t meant to be coming at all; and finally there’s music, played so loud the wearer has to be nearly deaf or so peed off with the world the screaming in their head is better.

3) The Pope – So he’s resigned. Get over it.

4) Cookery programmes – What has happened to TV? All that seems to be on is cookery shows. Every week a new one crops up. I mean how many ways can you cook a chicken? Even people who have nothing to do with cooking are getting in on the act – Gok who used to sew curtain rings into hats is now prancing around the kitchen with lemongrass and shitakes. And now they are growing into pseudo travel shows – in India looking at spices, road tripping in Italy sampling cheeses. I’m waiting for the seafood one that has a chef diving for its produce and cooking it underwater in a converted submarine. Now that I’d watch.

5) Junkies – Also everywhere. They wander the streets like zombies with hooded eyes and a cup. No I won’t give you money to fund your drug habit, funnily enough.

spam

6) Spam mail – Yes there is a folder for it. Yes I rarely look at it. But it still exists. Bizarre messages sent to my inbox seeking money, penis enlargements, credit or just cold selling. This is an example of one I received yesterday –

Greetings, well-hung darling! How are things with you? Tricky babes like me do not like being lonely! Why don’t we meet online to get each other better? I have so many vicious ideas to you! I will show you my hot bikini photos at the dating site. I am positive you will love them! Join me in a private chat, darling!

Who responds to these is beyond me, but someone has to as I deleted 253 of them yesterday and have another 23 today. A new campaign should be started called ‘Down With Spam’ (politeness is required otherwise it would not be so tame), and should employ an image of the canned meat (above) as the logo.

7) Spitting/Snotting on the street – When I visited China spitting was the norm. Everyone seemed to do it, as if the government had demanded two spits a day which were then verified by a DNA street sweep. Everything about it is disgusting; the sound, the frothy trail, the ease with which it is done. But now it has been taken to another level. Have tissues been banned and I haven’t been made aware of it. Have Kleenex & its ilk gone out of business? Now there is nostril clearing onto pavements. A vicious snort that falls onto concrete with a plop. I can only imagine what happens to the bits that don’t make it that far and just dangle. I can’t face looking. Just STOP SNOTTING.

8) Time – Where does it go? How come the weekdays drag like a blankie behind a child, while the weekends seem to be linked to the speed of light? I know it is 5 days comparable to two, but that doesn’t seem to matter. Those 2 days feel like 3 hours and I seem to manage to achieve very little despite all my intentions. I think what happens is I just fall into a coma, a time robbing coma to try and get over the tiresome weekdays. Nothing to do with late nights and indulgence of course.

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4 thoughts on “8 things that warrant a good old rant….

  1. My most recent rant-inducing moment:
    1. Lottery ticket people: They bring in a stack of lottery tickets to the local gas station during rush hour when everyone is in a hurry to grab a coffee and get to work. They hold up the entire line while trying to cash in their “winnings” which usually equal more lottery tickets. It’s a never ending process.

    • I actually came across someone doing that yesterday! We were forced to wait 10 minutes while she got six different types of tickets along with doing the main draw. If that was in the morning before my tea I think I might have tackld her to the ground and forced a book on the detriments of gambling on them!

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